August 15, 2013

  • A Return to the Blog…First Day of School

    We’ll see how long this lasts….

    When C was born 16 months ago I knew that I would fall behind on several things.  Apparently, blogging was one of those things.  I made my peace with it a long time ago.  At the end of the day, if the house is relatively clean, the kids are happy, behaving and have eaten healthy it’s a good day.  But now that I have two children in school I have tricked myself into thinking I will be more productive.  Time will tell. 

    This morning started early for me.  I woke up at 6 with knots in my stomach because I knew that the day I had been dreading since the day Alexandria was born had arrived…I had to send her off to Kindergarten.  I had to share her with someone else for many hours of the day.  And sure, there have been days during this summer that have been long and the kids seem to have been in constant opposition with each other, but I so want summer to go on forever.  I want my kids all right here with me.  I’m greedy like that.

    So I put on a brave face and directed my thoughts away from saying goodbye to my girl, made some monkey bread (sugar will cure sadness, right?), and got ready for the day.  At about 8, with a lump in my throat I went into A’s room and started waking her up for the big day.  She was sleepy but excited, which definitely made it easier for me.  As I was sitting on Alexandria’s bed watching her get ready, my mind was flooded with memories from her past five years at home with me…as a baby spending countless hours nursing and holding her in her room, as a sweet one year-old hearing her call “Moooooommmmmyyyyy” when she woke up in the morning, as a toddler and a preschool scattering her bedroom floor with every Disney princess we own, and more recently walking into her room and seeing the floor covered in dresses and shoes.  I’m going to miss her constant chatter, the way she plays so sweetly with her brothers, the way she drags out all my scarves and high heel shoes for us to play dress up, the way she whispers in my ear and invites me to her bday party almost daily, the way she always puts her clammy hands on my arm when she wants to tell me something (ok, might not miss clammy hands), the way she tells B to “pretend you are a dragon and you said…”

    But I tell myself that she is having a great time at school and making new friends and learning new things.  And while I know that all of that is true, I still miss her a bunch.  And for those of you who are wondering, I miss B too, but I have adjusted to not having him here during the school day.  And somehow that makes it easier on me too.

    I heard a quote a few years ago and have repeated it to myself a multitude of times over the past several years, “The days are long, but the years are short.”  And that seems ever so true today.  My brain can’t quite comprehend that we now have two school age children, and my heart is struggling with it too.

    This is me putting on a brave face.  The ugly cry came after we said goodbye to the kids at school and I was back in the privacy of the car.  Shortly after that I turned to C and told him that he was never going to Kindergarten.

    Matt, C and I followed the bus to school and got the kids to their classrooms…and snagged a few more photos.

    When she got off the bus she told me, “Mommy, I wasn’t nervous at all on the bus!”

Comments (1)

Post a Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *